Today we are looking at narrative features that grip a reader. Look at the opener below and answer the questions in yellow into your exercise book.
Now look at the opening below. What makes this better than the one above?
Opening with the word ‘stealthily’ makes the opening intriguing ensuring the reader wants to carry on reading! Look at the other pointers on the slide below, which help to make this opener good.
Task- look at the image below. This is going to be the basis for your story, which you will be writing over the next 5 days.
Today- I want you to write your opening paragraph for the story. Use the one above as inspiration. Remember to think about who the girl is. What is her name? Why is she in the forest? Where is she heading?
Look at the image above. What do you see? How would you describe it?
‘An abundance of juicy blackberries, ripening in the sun, looked deliciously tasty as if calling out to be picked. ‘
Not bad- but we can do better:
‘Twisted and gnarled, the blackberries no longer looked appetising. Instead an angry mass of vicious brambles sat waiting to attack anyone who dared to approach. ‘
What makes the second description better?
Task- today you will write the next part of your story, which you started yesterday. This next paragraph needs to focus on describing something in detail. Maybe you want to describe the trees in the forest or the house in the distance? Or maybe you would prefer to describe the place that your character is sneaking away from? Your objective is to use figurative language:
Today you will be focusing on writing the 3rd part of your story. In this section, I want you character to arrive at the destination she is sneaking off to. Maybe she is actually sneaking back home? Or maybe she is sneaking off to feed a baby animal that she found in the forest the day before. Be as creative as you can. Let your imagination run wild. Your objective is to use short sentences to create suspense.
Twenty minutes later, she entered Deadman’s Forest. Tall trees towered overhead and daylight filtered through the branches, casting ebony shadows. It wasn’t long before she came to the ruins of the old mill. Jo stood still. Her heart was beating like a drum. Beads of sweat trickled down her forehead. The pond glittered in the sunlight whilst bees buzzed busily.
Today you will be writing the final part of your story. How will it end? Will it end on a cliff hanger? Will it have a twist? Or will it be a happy ever after ending? You decide.
Tour objective is to include as many year 5 writing tools as you can:
Dashes for parenthesis
Today you will be editing and re drafting your story. Read it from start to finish. Does it make sense? Are there any sentences you can rearrange to add effect?
When you’re happy with your story, give it a title and write it out as a polished draft.
Send me a photo of your story in your exercise book or type it up and send it to our class email.
The best stories will go onto our class page…